Excitedness!!!!

I got my provisional today!! Yey! My brother took me out today - just to a car park near where we live, and I haven't been as excited in a long time. It was a lot more difficult than I thought, I kept going too fast and scaring the shit out of myself but it was fun and my brother is a great teacher.

558 calories today. Half an hour of walking my dog and 15 of each of my exercises.

I went food shopping with my mum today - I like it - But only with my mum - If I'm by myself I don't like it so much. When I'm with my mum I like finding healthy things or low cal things to get, I'll lift up fattening things and look at the cals and put it down and lift it back up and look at it then put it down and start again on the next thing - It's strange it's like a hobbey. It's not stressful it's enjoyable in a way because I know I'm not buying it so it's not going to be in my house so I'll not have to try and resist it - If that makes any sense. I'll not buy any bad things when I'm with my mum because I don't want anyone to see me getting it but when I'm on my own no-one knows so it's a bit more dangerous.

I'm watching SuperSize vs SuperSkinny at the minute - which for any of my American friends is a programme where Super big people and Super skinny people swap diets for a week. They are also doing a bit in it about American obese people and a bit about British Anorexics. The obese people are like really big - Like too big to get healthy again - It will kill them - It reinforces what I don't want to be, they are on huge amounts of tablets because of the massive list of health problems they have. And the Anorexics, seeing how little they eat and how much they struggle, it makes me think even more about what I eat. It can be difficult to watch at times but it's comforting at the same time if that makes any sense.

My computer doesn't have microsoft word on it - So when I'm doing coursework I use my brothers but he got a virus on it so you can't get into anything so I don't know what I'm going to do - mum said she would think about buying me a new laptop as mine isn't that great - But I would feel bad her paying for it. I am looking for a job but it's reallly hard trying to find one. I hate not having my own money because my mum feels like she has to buy me things - which I don't like because I'm 17 I should be able to pay for things myself.

Okay I think I'm going to shut up now because this is quickly turning into a mimi essay - Sorry about that.

Hope everyone is doing alright - How are you?? I love reading comments so please leave lots.
Rachel x