still not fixed laptop, I miss you all, sorry Im not here. Im on twitter though if anyones interested - @LilButterfly93 xo

Sorry I've disappeared, laptop sick. Still thinking of you all a lot, I miss you all a lot. I love you all a lot. xo

i can only write in subject box cause im on my fone. i just wanted to say thank you so much!! il be back soon. i love u and thanks :) xox

Why hello there...

Sorry I know I said I'd post a couple of days ago but I didn't get round to it. I've been a very bad blogger, I've not read, commented, replied to comments or posted properly in weeks, I'm sorry :( BUT... I promise to get better because you are all wonderful.

As you might be able to tell I'm in rather a good mood, which is lovely.

Would you like to know why??

Well then I shall tell you.

The last time I weighed myself was 7 December and I weighed 107.6Ibs, now bear in mind that the next few weeks were filled with a couple of birthdays, family feed-ups, Christmas, Christmas parties, new year, which as we all know are filled with astronomical amounts of food and alcohol and all things calorific, which logically should result in about half a million pounds worth of weight gain.

So could some please explain to me how it could possibly be that when I woke up this morning and took a very brave, if not slightly frightened, step onto my scales that it could read 106.8Ibs??

I may sound very foolish getting excited about 0.8Ibs weightloss, but fuck me - it was Christmas!! Woo - Hoo!

So, yes, that was a very nice thing to see this morning.

I may have mentioned that I have news? I don't know I can't remember but anyway here it is:

My sister is getting married and has asked me to be bridesmaid! While this is extremely exciting, it has thrown up a few problems, two in particular:

1.She does not want a long engagement and is organising her wedding for the end of May, start of June - THIS YEAR! Which leaves me with 4-5 months to get my (not just as fat as I thought) arse into some sort of shape (Do you Americans not have arses? Spell-checker doesn't recognise it, or that - You use an awful lot of Z's) So yes, 4-5 months! Ah!! I am currently a size 8 (UK) but I want my dress to be a size 6 (UK) not sure what that is in America, but a UK 4 is an American size zero, and a UK 6 is one up from that - hopefully that will give you some sort of idea. I would love to be 88Ibs by then - 19Ibs - over 4 months = 4.75Ibs per month and 1.1Ibs per week. That can be done.

I like the sound of it - Perfect weight 88 (I heard that somewhere, can't remember where though, maybe a song?)

2.Problem 2 is bad and a bit heartbreaking - My sister doesn't want dreads at her wedding, we have had fights about them because I love them so much and she really doesn't, so yeh I've started taking them out.

I had 43 dreads and after 8 hours I have removed 20, so only another 23 to go.....

I'm going to put them back in after the wedding because I love them, and I don't want normal hair.

I'm removing them all, then going to the hair dressers to get the colour stripped, because I dyed my dreads which means my hair is a bit blotchy, and get the ends cut and then condition it to within an inch of it's life.

I hope everyone's year has got off to a good start.

I feel kinda happy - Which is weird.

I not used to just being content, any happiness I have is usually faked, as sad as that sounds, it's true.

But yeh this is good, I like this.

xo