I don't even have the words to explain how I felt when I saw the comments under my last post. I genuinely did not expect anyone to read, but thank you - It means so much.
I still have to get back a couple of those comments.
I suppose I should tell you where I'm at - I haven't lost any weight, in fact I think I may have put on a pound. I am around 108Ibs but I feel I look thinner than before. Like I'm more toned than before, I can feel and see my hips and ribs more than before.
I am doing an awful lot better with exercise, I am doing so much more, like I walk a lot with Cassie, I do push-ups, sit-ups and crunches. I went to the gym for a few weeks as well with my friend but we don't really go that much any more because we're broke. I just feel generally more active which is good I suppose.
I have gone through the whole cycle of starving-binging-purging-cutting-starving etc. But in this past week or so I've been a lot better, like I can control myself a lot better, I have fasted, I have had a day of 300 calories etc, etc. I don't feel the need to eat everything on my plate anymore.
I am still having my phases of horrible depression, positive, happier times, you know a mix of more or less everything.
Okay, I have a goal. In 2 weeks I will turn 18, I am determined to enter adulthood weighing nothing more than 99Ibs - So yeh there it is.
I am happy to be back I really am, than you all for welcoming me back - your all so lovely.
conversation on a working saturday
2 weeks ago