I had a few Tia Marias with coke, vodkas with coke - a couple of 2 litre jugs of sex on the beach and a couple of 2 litre jugs of fat frog and then some more vodka - Amazingly I don't feel that rough today. Not great - but not too bad.
It was a good night but then everything kind of kicked of with my friend and her boyfriend - So not so good on that front.
I feel really bad for her - she has been through so much and I just want to help her and I can't.
I don't think I'm coping, but I'm not sure. That sounds really stupid, doesn't it? How can I not tell weather I'm coping or not?
It's just coursework, and food, and growing up and all the shit that comes with it.
Sometimes I wish I could go back, I miss I could go back and tell my 11 year old self all things that were going to happen and tell her how to cope. I wish I could go back, just to see how different things might have been.
I feel sorry for that little girl, I really do. I want to help her.
I don't feel sorry for myself, I don't want to help myself.
How can that be, when I'm the little girl?
I don't like having to share my head, my thoughts, my mind - Because it's very hard to make sense of anything when theres someone else there.