I am trying to look for a job, I have applications sitting all around me but I can't fill them in on my own, they are complicated and I don't have a clue, but there is no-one to help. Even if I managed to do the forms and managed to get an interview - I have no confidence in myself so interviews are always shit.
No job means no money means staying at home means mother or myself will most likely end up dead.
Oh yes mother dearest and myself are fighting. Again.
She walks up to me yesterday in the street calls me a tramp and then leaves again. Said she was joking when I took offence to it. Well fuck me sorry for clearly having no sense of humour, just didn't think it was that funny.
Now have to put up with her acting like a child, silent treatment, door slamming etc, etc.
I am taking the opportunity and fasting for a day or two, as mother will not care or I doubt even notice.
I am sad at the minute.
I need a job so I can move out or I will go mad extremely quickly.
Best friend and boyfriend are aware somethings not right. I don't really have the energy to put my usually front on, don't think blaming my mood on being tired is really convincing them.
The boyfriend thinks I'm losing interest and that I don't trust him. Not true I'm just sad and I hate the fact that I can hardly bear to have him even hug me never mind anything else.
Don't know what's really going on with me right now. I just want to lose weight and starve all these feelings away.