Tears...

Thank you, your comments made me cry. And I don't cry. I still find it hard to accept that you all care, but I appreciate it, A lot.

I hate to say it, but the only word I have to describe me right now is hopeless.

I feel very little at the minute. I would say I feel numb, but that can't possibly be a feeling, can it?

I have gone through periods like this before, where I'm a bit more unhappy than usual.

This will, I'm sure, like the others pass.

But until then I don't really know.

I can't even really be bothered stringing a proper sentence together.

I always said I would be in control.

But I'm not.

I'm really not.

This thing, whatever it is, is eating away at me, one tiny bit at a time.

She doesn't want me here, she wants me out of this body, so she can fix it and make it thin.

I need to do it myself fast or I will die, trapped inside this body, while she takes over.

I may have gone mad.

But to be honest,

I can't really tell.