Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Thank you, your comments made me cry. And I don't cry. I still find it hard to accept that you all care, but I appreciate it, A lot.

I hate to say it, but the only word I have to describe me right now is hopeless.

I feel very little at the minute. I would say I feel numb, but that can't possibly be a feeling, can it?

I have gone through periods like this before, where I'm a bit more unhappy than usual.

This will, I'm sure, like the others pass.

But until then I don't really know.

I can't even really be bothered stringing a proper sentence together.

I always said I would be in control.
But I'm not.
I'm really not.

This thing, whatever it is, is eating away at me, one tiny bit at a time.
She doesn't want me here, she wants me out of this body, so she can fix it and make it thin.

I need to do it myself fast or I will die, trapped inside this body, while she takes over.

I may have gone mad.
But to be honest,
I can't really tell.


  1. Of course we care, sweetie
    and I miss you,
    but I understand there are times one must take care of herself
    take care

  2. I really wish I could be with you right now and hug you and tell you that it's going to be okay.
    But who knows what happens in the future. We can never tell, we can just make the best out of the present situation. It is completely okay to feel unhappy sometimes, just try to look at everything more closely or in another way, maybe you'll find something that will cheer you up again.

    Until then, I can only tell you that we are all here to support you, no matter what the future brings.
    I love you loads, my dear.