Tuesday, 8 November 2011

Well I hope there's someone out who can bring me back to you...

I was 3.4Ibs lighter on Friday than I am today, Tuesday.

And I can feel every ounce.
And it disgusts me, more than I can even put into words.

My mind is fucking with me, it embeds things that I know cannot be possibly true, but it makes me believe them. But they are not even lies about my body. They are lies that I would give anything to be true.

So sometimes I let myself believe them, when I get really sad. I will let myself escape in them.

So now I must go and cut into my leg to try and distinguish weather I actually am real or not...


  1. please don't hurt yourself that way honey!
    take a freezing shower if you need to hurt yourself.. but don't give yourself scars!
    you're lovely
    you don't deserve pain

  2. Don't hurt yourself! It isn't that bad! You can EASILY lose those 3.4 lb. EASILY. The way I see it, you don't need more than one form of self-destruction, if any at all. Don't cut yourself, darling. It won't make you any more pretty. Stay strong, my love. I am here for you, if you ever need someone.