Sorry...

I have become very unreliable, I say I am back then I leave again.

I say I'll blog more. And I don't.

I say I'll comment more. And I don't.

Sorry.

THE WORST FEELING OF ALL

IS SAID TO BE FEELING NOTHING AT ALL

FEELINGS PUT TO ONE SIDE

THERE IS NO WHERE TO HIDE

Nothing by Nathan Swensons

Not sure.

I write in my calorie book everyday.

I weigh myself everyday.

I record it everyday.

Nothing seems to be changing.

Except...

I feel a little bit sadder every day.

I lose a little bit more energy every day.

I lose a little bit more enthusiasm every day.

I love my little dog so very much.

She makes me feel very almost human.

She looks up at me with her beautiful big eyes.

She looks up at me just bursting with love.

I know by looking at her that I have an unconditional bond with someone.

Someone who will always be there.

Someone who will always be glad to see me.

Someone who makes me feel less worthless.

And all I have to do is walk her, feed her, give her water, clean up after her and let her sit with her head nuzzled under my jacket, holding her close when the fireworks scare her.

Oh and of course give her treats and the odd belly rub.

To my little Cassie, I am the most important person in her world.

Me.

Little old me.

I am her everything.

And she shows me this everyday by giving me a little lick on my chin.

That is the best feeling.