I am so fucking sick of this.

I'm sorry that I'm only come here to rant - I don't expect you to read any of it I really don't - It's just a rant, so yip theres your warning...

I'm sick of fucking up.

I'm sick of food.

I'm sick if eating.

I'm sick of feeling shit.

I'm sick of being such a failure.

I am so tired of doing this.

I just want to be thin.

I want that amazing feeling when you don't eat for 3 days.

I want that high, when your not sure if your real or not.

I want my skin to be bruised from my bones sticking through.

I want my heart to flutter and tease me that maybe it will just stop.

I want to fucking float.

It's disgusting that I want these things.

It's disgusting that I want to damage my body even more than I already have done.

It's disgusting to see my pale, grey, tired out and lifeless face, starring back at me from the monster that is the mirror.

It's disgusting that I'm writing this and not feeling anything at all.

It's disgusting that I'm writing this and still stuffing chocolate down my chubby little throat.

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