Thursday, 18 March 2010


I haven't posted in a while. Just been a bit busy. It's half 7 at night here and today I've had 530 calories. Todays been ok I suppose, I don't know I think I'm just in a strange mood today. I don't know why.

I got a written warning in college today because I've stopped going to maths. It's crap though, it's only an equivilent so it doesn't even count. I failed my maths GSCE. I dont know wheather I failed because we had 13 differnt maths teachers in 5 years (yeh my skool really was that crap - its closed now) or the fact that I'm discalculic - It's like dyslexic but in maths, it just means I forget stuff I've been taught - But I just see at as another thing I can't do.

I sometimes feel like a bit of a fake because whenever I read or watch things on eating disorders, the thing that they all say is that people with eating disorders are perfectionistic, are extremelly smart or have wonderful talents or skills. I'm not any of these things, I came out of skool with 4 exams, I'm failing the course I'm doing at college, I have no special talents or skills or anything like that, I feel like a fraud - I don't feel I deserve to read any of your blogs because you are all such intellegent, talented and beautiful people.

I'm sorry I'm just a bit down at the minute - and tired. Hope your all doing a bit better than I am. If you've had a good day/week leave me a comment and tell me about - It may cheer me up to hear it - or if your having just as crap a week as I am tell me that to. I like reading your comments.

Again sorry for my strange rambles
Rachel x

1 comment:

  1. I think all sorts of people may develop EDs, it is like a coping strategy. In times of stress it is something we can control and feel good about when we become successful. No matter what sort of person you are, or how "smart" you are.

    I've had a crap ass week as well, so I can sympathize. Things will turn around though, don't worry.