Thank you all so much for your lovely comments the other night, they really meant so much.
About an hour after I posted that my friend text and asked me to go out, so I thought whythefucknot? So I go out and as I have no money I take a bottle of west coast cooler from the house with me, now that is all I had to drink apart from two shots of raspberry vodka, anyway I walk out to go for a cigarette, and I walk right into the fucking door frame, I know I'm a clampit, but I just laughed at myself for being so stupid and didn't think anything else of it.
I walk home, crawl into bed and go to sleep, I walk up in the morning and holy shit I felt like someone had taken a drill to my skull, seriously it was the worst pain I think I've ever had, I get up and it just gets worse, then I get really nausous and I am sitting over the toliet for about an hour, nothing came up so I was just heaving. I could barely move the pain was that bad.
Yeh turns out I managed to give myself a minor concusson! Yeh I know I'm an idiot. I feel a lot better now though. It's funny I was thinking back and it was around this time last year I split my head on a window, I was turning off an outside tap and I stood up and knocked my head on the corner of a window, blood everywhere, seriously I looked like I belonged in a massacure film.
Yeh you may have noticed I'm a tad clumsy, I tend to walk into things, break things, set things on fire and trip over thin air on a regular basis.
I have decided to try not to complain as much, things really aren't that bad, I like cleaning, like no-one else can clean my kitchen and if they do I go back and do it again, I don't know it's my thing. And it burns a shit load of calories. I am currently listening to Harry Potter on audio because I do not own the books, I borrowed them when I read them last. But the audio is actually kind of good. I found it on youtube and Stephen Fry reads them, and I love Stephen Fry.
I'm trying to have a more postive outlook on things.
I am currently trying to put mother dearest off taking me on holiday. I don't really want to go because holidays mean bikinis and there are two reasons I cannot wear this item of clothing:
1. I am as fat as fuck
2. My thighs and ribs/hips are cut to ribbons
So yeh that would be a fun conversation to have. "Hey Rachel, what's that there all over you, some nutter go a bit razor happy all over you". Yeh, so no, a holiday would not be a good idea.
And I would like to say that I love Rachel, she is amazing, she knows just the right thing to say and says it in the most beautiful way. Your beautiful, I really wish you could believe that. Thank you, your wonderful words really helped me.
And thank you to everyone else who left a comment, I tried to get round and thank you all on your blogs, if I missed you, I apologise.
4 weeks ago