Thursday (yesterday) was one of the most boring days of my life. I don't know, I usually like being in the house by myself, doing nothing inparticular but yesterday I was just so sick of looking at the same four walls.
I went out, with my bf Kate and a few friends. We went to a club about an hour away from where we live, it was really good, I like being able to get dressed up, so off we went I had some drinks before we left, some more drinks in the car on the way there, some more drinks in a wee pub below the club, then some more drinks in the club, yes I was completely fucked.
I noticed a few girls, some skinny girls, I even spotted a few hip bones. I didn't feel so nice anymore.
But I got up and I danced, then I danced some more, had more drinks, danced some more (are you seeing a pattern yet??). Then I thought fuck it, I wanna have fun, no-one is paying me any attention, no-one else cares if I'm a bit fat. So I danced for hours with Kate, it was so fucking roasting in there, and the smoking area was just as bad because there was so many people crammed into such a tiny space, so the sweat was dripping of everyone, but everyone had a really good night. We and Kate were so sore, our feet, fuck me. It was painful, but we carried on regardless.
We rolled home around 3.30/4 and I was awake at about 10 this morning.
My sister text me to say she had the day off work, so I rang her to she if she fancied doing something, she suggested the zoo. Eee!!! Yes I am 17 and she is 24, but we will remain 7 in our heads forever. I had to have the quickest shower in history so we could catch the train. It was really sunny and warm, which is highly unusual for this country, so it was a really good day, we walked for hours, but we also ate, I could keep track of what I was eating because we were lifting bits and pieces of stuff all day. I don't feel like it was a massive binge day, but I do feel quite guilty now because it was all bad.
I danced and walked loads over today and last night so I'm hoping it will balance out. I don't want to weigh myself in the morning incase I've gained, but I find it really hard not to, it has become part of my routine now.
I had a brillient day and last night, even though I ate. Thanks for all the lovely comments, I will get back to them tomorrow, I promise. But I really need to have a lil cigarette and go for big sleeps!
I love you Rach, enjoy your leaving party, I'll be there in spirit.
conversation on a working saturday
2 weeks ago